husband wife jokes sms

husband wife jokes sms (page 2)

A man received message from his neighbour.
Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.
Few minutes later he received another massage.
Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake ...
it's not wife but WIFI.


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Wife with a husband comes to the eye doctor office : - Doctor,my husband has a very bad vision. Please convince him to do the surgery!!! She leaves. Doctor checks guy`s eyes and realized that his vision is 100% : - Why do you pretend at home that you have a bad vision? - Doctor you just can`t imagine how tired am I for 37 years marriage  to answer the questions like : “Is this dress better then the other?”, “Is this hairstyle better ?” , “Do you think I look good for that party?” , “Do you think this color of dishes is good for our kitchen?” …….
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Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems,
No TV serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home..
Husband: What did the doctor say ?
Wife:- No chance for u to survive.
 
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Husband and wife are arguing. - You`ll never find wife like me ever again. - I will never search for one like you ever again …….
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Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today. :P
.
Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
.
.
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
.
Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
.
Did he do that ??
.
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero. :P :P
 
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''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
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